Contenta

How thankful I am for a wonderful day! I realized that because all of the shcools have been having parties for the end of the year, there have been MANY events to go to each day, so part of the problem in being so overwhelmed (besides for the fact that this is the first WEEK!!!) is that I have had practically NO time just alone, to write, read my Bible, simply THINK and reflect on all that I am taking in. This morning (saturday) I was able to sleep in until 12:00 and when I woke up I went on the balcony and got to do just those things for about 20 minutes, which helped more than I can even describe. I decided then to take my journal with me everywhere for times when I have a few free minutes to write. It turned out that, that happened quite a few times today and to be able to write down a thought (in English ;) ) was extremely helpful to processing things, remembering so that I wouldn't have to keep thinking about it, and then moving on to the next thing, so that there wans't SO many unadressed ideas at the end of the day!

I have to go to bed now, it is already 1.00. We just came back 20 minutes ago from the last night of La Traccia Festival. I was able to look at the exibits again with much less conflict in my mind, and just enjoy it. It is so wonderful to be able to understand more conversations and ask my own simple questions. For example, I asked a boy when the play started. He recognized I was American by my "accent"! haha. Then he told me in englisht that he didn't know, but to find a teacher in an orange shirt (the shirt of the school festival) with curly blond hair, in the other big tent where everyone was eating. I went in, calmly, and I think I found the woman he was talking about. I asked her about the play, which I had been anticipating for the last two days to see tonight- and found out that it had taken place in April and was now completey over! Too bad. My next task was to try to find out what it was about, so I went back to the exibit. After asking Stefano about it, he asked a student (girl) to explain what it was about to him. They were talking for probably about half an hour! She was talking much faster than my "tutors" (Stefano, Chiara, etc.) do, and I had no context for what she was talking about, so I couldn't understand anything of what she was saying. But Stefano knows now. he says it is extremely difficult to try to explain in English, so we will look it up online. It looked, from the display, like it had something to do with the Jewish people, possibly an earthquake, and a mother who left her son...I have no idea, really. It is called "A Circle of Chalk." I can't think of the Italian title right now. This was after two days of trying to ask how to say a "show" a "performance" a "production" on the "stage." these terms, for some reason, are not familiar at all. When I finally understood from Stefano the words, "circle of chalk," I thought completely that he meant that's what they call a SHOW, because he assured me, "it has a meaning"... ;)

adesso- anyway. I was extremely fortunate to be able to watch a men's choir doppo (afterwards), from the Alps! It was so incredible. I loved it so much. Stefano bought me their CD so I can show you all when I get back! I already have a song picked out to ask Ms. Clark if I can show it to the choir when school starts again! I was extremely surprised to find that in one song, a prayer to a saint who left everything, had nothing for his own, and went out in the the wilderness, only in the nature- to find that they used the names: "Mother earth" "Father sky" "Brother sun" and "sister moon"! It is the same as the Native American Characters! I want to ask Stefano more about it. Anyway, the men went to the tent where all the food is after the concert, and soon they began to sing again! Stefano bought a bottle of water and we went over to listen more. "If you like music," he said, as the harmonys began to rise loudly from the corner once more, "you cannot..." I finnished for him, "help but listen!" While I sat and watched them sing, I thought to myself, "To enjoy a glass of fizzwater I once shuddered at the thought of, is the sign of finally really enjoying a culture" :) or something like that. Then they sang this one song, and they all stood up, and it got louder and louder!!! Soon it was so loud, so strong, that it seemed to reverberate through all of my bones, and I heard it with my body, not just my ears. I wrote about it in my journal afterwards, because the feel of that moment, to sing like that (even to listen!) is LETTING GO. You just surrender. You forget about all other thoughts. You become those notes that you sing with no resignations, no fear. You just let you. It was an incredible feeling, and incredible sound. After they finnished (to incredible applause and overall happiness), they all sat down to eat pizza. A man who I met yesterday, one of Stefano's friends, came over to me. He is a choir director. (just for description): he wore a dark suit jacket open over a white collar shirt. He wore glasses. His head was balding. He had a dark mustache that was barely graying. It is hard to explain this moment in the joyful gentlenss of its reality. These words sound more harsh than the love of the emotion. But this is how it went: His eyes were gleaming with passion, with a smile as he came over to me. He grabbed my scarf and pulled my face close to his until my forehead almost touched his. Then he pushed me back a little so he could look into my eyes. In English he said: "I just want to tell you one thing: THAT is music." Wow. It was pretty powerful for me.

Also extremely touching today was getting to talk to stefano, mostly about religion. It was so incredible, so priceless, to listen to him. It all started because he invited me to come with him next weekend on a 16 mile pilgrimage from one city to another that takes place all night. The websight for this event is: www.pellegrinaggio.org . There is an explanation in English if you click on the British flag, and I encourage you to check it out to get at least an idea. I haven't told Stefano yet, but I don't see how I could NOT do it! I am so thankful for these opportunities, and it means SO much to Stefano. I will explain another time, but the school La Traccia, it was started by members of "The Movement," which is not really Stefano's CHURCH, but it is his...well, it is a spirtual movement that is not in any way in opposition to the Catholic church, in fact it is very supportive of it- but it sees things differently than the traditional way. Stefano sees things differently. The motto of this movement is "Il very protagonista della storia è il mendicante." When I read this in english I was astonished: "The true protagonist of history is the begger." I asked stefano what this means and he took me to the speach of the man who started the Movement. The last words of the speech are this quote and then another sentence of explanation: "Christ begging for the hearts of man, and men begging for the heart of Christ." I cannot really tell you the whole conversation at all, but one thing Stefano said that sticks out in my mind right now is: "2,000 years ago He (Christ) came to la terra (the earth) and encountered people. That is all it is: an ENCOUNTER." This was after discussinng the rules of the Catholic church, because I asked about the sign of the cross. It is a symbol, he said, a sign, and all signs are to help to remind us, so that we can get to... the point. The words I thought of were: to get to the heart of it. His (Stefano's) sincerity means so much to me, and it is so wonderful to get to talk to him. The great thing was, then we went to a mass at La Traccia (La festa). What amazed me most was the songs! There was a choir singing the songs- the choir was students from the school. The melodies were so upbeat, so hopeful, not slow, mournful, or boring. They were not even repetative but, rather, familiar in the format of verses returning to a chorus. From the words that could understand, the songs spoke of the same love (for and from God) and the same worshipful thankfulness we have from looking at what he has made. This all meant very much to me especially becaue this morning as I read my devotion and prayed to find truth today (because that was what stood out to me in that quote from yesterday, by the way: that it said those men did not try to escape the truth). What God showed me as I read the Bible this morning, was a verse in Psalms that said- well it was that verse from Kenneth's dance! The heaven's declare the glory of God! and KNOWLEDGE is written across the horizon each day. It said that we cannot hear the voices but their silence fills the whole earth, and in this way God's truth is understood IN EVERY LANGUAGE. Thank God! And when the Bishop spoke, I hung on every word, though I could only understand parts. His voice was so sincere, so gentle, kind, and passionate. The pharases I cought seemed very good to me. I am so thankful for today. It was a difficult start because I am still very...I carry a lot of burdons. I need to read the book my mom gave me (thank you!): Travling light ! Because all of life is traveling, and we need to be FREE to... to walk the roads we are supposed to and take from what we see, the truth that will help us to become the people and do the things that God has designed for us to do.

I am learning to accept who I am better. After talking with Stefano, I didn't feel so excluded, so stupid anymore. It does not make me less of a person not to understand this language. I am learning. And beneath the languages, the words themselves, we can speak the same language of searching the spirit and finding fulfillment in the revealed truths of God. Knowledge is not limmited to those who...for instance, know three languages! :) you probably know all of this already, because you have given me the great and, for me, always prevelant advice to calm down! ;) I guess I just feel more satisfied to learn things in a new way, in a new context. It makes the ideas seem, bigger, truer, more tested and more trustable, if that's in any way fair.

Ok. goodnight now. I don't mean to single out, because I could say things to everybody! but I have to say that I was thinking of you especially today, Andrew, because one of the songs they sang at mass was in Spanish! It made me think of you possibly going to Catholic mass where you are, and wondering if you are able to get anything out of it, because I think the traditional masses (not like the one I went to), are far less... ALIVE :\ the amazing thing was, Stefano, though Catholic, understood exactly that. Anyway, the singing was so sweet, the sound so close to my heart. I hope you are doing well

Goodnight all I am praying for you and I love you so much! thank you for your prayers, thoughts, and overall support. That you are thinking of me, that you even miss me- I can't really explain what kind of help that is for my heart as I face all of this and trust that God has a plan for everything that I gain, in my head, heart, and as a person. I am so thankful that I am not doing this alone! So trust God where you are, wherever that is! Wherever God leads you to be, there is something you can gain- always look back to Him to remember that there is first of all hope and security, and also purpose, destiny, and His Spirit, leading us one step at a time. Piano piano.

Buona Notte